When 'Change Your Mindset' Isn't Enough

You’ve heard it before:
“Change your mindset, change your life.”

And to be honest, I’ve said it too.
Because I do believe in mindset work. I’ve seen it create powerful shifts — in myself and the clients I coach.
But here’s the truth: mindset work isn’t the whole picture.
And sometimes, it’s not even the right place to start.

If you’ve tried to reframe your thoughts, repeat affirmations, or think your way out of burnout or overwhelm — and it hasn’t worked — this post is for you.

The Problem With Mindset-Only Advice

Let me be clear: I’m not anti-mindset.
But I’ve also seen how the “just shift your mindset” advice can become oversimplified and even harmful, especially in wellness and personal development spaces.

Here’s what I’ve learned — both in my own growth and while working with clients:

1. It skips over nervous system regulation.

You can’t shift your thoughts when your body is in survival mode.
If you’re exhausted, anxious, or dysregulated, no amount of positive thinking will stick — because your nervous system doesn’t feel safe enough to absorb it.

That’s why we start with body-first practices: movement, nourishment, rest, and breath.
Safety comes first. Mindset follows.

2. It places the burden on the individual.

The message often becomes:

“If you’re still struggling, you must be thinking the wrong thoughts.”

This doesn’t take into account things like trauma, burnout, or systemic barriers. It reduces healing to personal willpower — and that’s not how true transformation works.

3. It ignores emotional nuance.

Not every thought is meant to be replaced.
Some need to be felt. Others need to be heard.
When we try to override everything with “good vibes only,” we miss the wisdom in our emotions. Sometimes what we need most is compassion, not a reframe.

4. It bypasses behavior.

Here’s the big one I want you to take with you:
Change doesn’t just happen in your mind — it happens in your body, your choices, your habits, and your relationships.

I remind my clients of this all the time.
They’ll come to me saying their thoughts are negative or their mindset isn’t “strong enough.”
But when we zoom out, I see that they are showing up:

• doing their exercises
  
  
• eating food that supports their goals
  
  
• resting when they need it
  
  
• setting boundaries
  
  
• speaking kindly to themselves (even if just for a moment)
  
  

These are all signs of growth — even if your thoughts haven’t caught up yet.

You’re Not Your Thoughts. You’re What You Practice.

Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s true.
And it definitely doesn’t mean it has to lead your life.

What if, instead of focusing so much on your thoughts, you paid more attention to your actions?

“I made a nourishing breakfast, even when my brain said I didn’t have time.”
“I did that workout, even though my inner critic told me it wasn’t enough.”
“I took a breath instead of reacting.”

Let those moments be your proof.
Let your behavior challenge the belief — not the other way around.

What to Focus on Instead

If mindset work hasn’t been working for you, you’re not broken. You probably just need a different starting point.

Here’s what I recommend:

Start with your body.

This means nervous system care, food that supports you, and movement that meets you where you are. Regulate first, reframe later.

Recognize your efforts.

You might be doing more than you think. Stop waiting for your thoughts to “approve” of your growth— notice the ways you’re already showing up.

Honor your season.

Some phases aren’t for pushing or shifting — they’re for softening, resting, or just being. Give yourself permission to be in that space.

Work with someone who sees the whole you.

Real change happens in relationship. It’s why I always recommend working with a coach or therapist rather than just consuming more information. You deserve support that goes deeper than a Pinterest quote.

Final Thoughts

So no, I’m not here to cancel mindset work.
But I am here to remind you that growth is holistic — and there’s more than one way to do it.

You are not your thoughts.
You are the choices you make in love, the routines that support you, and the tiny ways you return to yourself — even when it’s hard.

If this message landed, feel free to share it with someone who needs it. And if you’re ready to take this deeper in your own life, you can learn more about my 1:1 holistic coaching here .  

You're doing better than you think.
Let your actions be your proof. 💛

~Carissa